If there is one thing that I am learning about life as of late, it is that nothing is permanent. Expectations and forward-looking should always be held gently in our hands. Right now is all we have so we approach the future light-heartedly. Staying centered within the person we are will remind us that whether we have or have not should not matter as much as knowing who we are and knowing that we are more than what we have.
It’s been a rough 2 months. I know I have been very vague about my life recently out of the need to have my privacy but I am ready to open up to you, dear friends, about what has been going on. My relationship of 5 1/2 years ended back in April in probably the best way anyone could ask for (I know this sounds weird–it’s weird for me to have experienced a break-up that ended in a beautiful way, but it’s true). We realized we were in each others’ lives for a reason up to that point but it was time to let go. Since then, as you know, I found a job as a gluten-free/vegan baker down in Orange County and I have been busy packing up my life here in the South Bay to move down and begin my newest chapter in life.
Everything felt serendipitous. It all made sense and the stars were alligning. My life was moving forward and toward the direction that I have putting out there to the Universe. But as Alanis Morrisette so gracious sung about the irony of life, the job ended up falling through; in fact the entire restaurant/bakery just couldn’t open its doors. My heart sunk. How does everything seem so perfect and make so much sense only to find that it doesn’t and isn’t?
I took a walk down to the beach the day I found out about all of this (Monday). I was a total mess, friends. I know it’s just a job and another one is right around the corner and that I will be fine… but I had so much hope in this. It was the one thing that made me happy and was carrying me forward in the midst of such tranisition and change. My eyes were puffed up from tears. My brain couldn’t think of what to do next. And perspective came instantaneously…
A most tender moment that touched my heart so graciously. As I headed down the steps to the shore, I followed behind a woman with her daughter who was probably in her 20s. The mother had her hand gently along the back of her daughter the entire descension of those steps, as they slowly walked down. I noticed the scarf beautifully wrapped and tied around the daughter’s bald head and immediately understood she was recovering from a chemotherapy treatment.
Nothing is permanent in life. Enjoy what we have now.
Ice Cream Brownie Sandwiches
Gluten, egg, and dairy-free
Ingredients
For the Brownies:
- 1/3 c. superfine brown rice flour
- 1/3 c. sorghum flour
- 1/3 c. potato starch
- 1/2 c. cocoa powder
- 3/4 c. sugar
- 1 1/2 tsp baking powder
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 1/2 cup oil
- 1/2 cup maple syrup
- 1/4 cup non-dairy milk (I used So Delicious)
- 1 tsp vanilla
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease an 9″ pan.
- Put the oil, maple syrup , soy milk and vanilla in a medium bowl and whisk to combine.
- In a separate bowl whisk together the flour, cocoa, sugar, baking powder and salt.
- Fold the dry ingredients into the wet mixture with a rubber spatula until just combined.
- Spread out batter in the pan. Bake for 32-35 minutes.
- Allow to fully cool. Slice into squares.
- Place brownie squares in freezer for 15 min so they are not crumbly.
For the Chocolate Coating:
- 2 c. non-dairy chocolate chips
- 1/2 c. coconut oil
- Melt non-dairy chips and coconut oil in a microwave safe bowl in 30 second incriments, stirring at each stop until melted and smooth.
- Allow to cool for a couple of minutes.
- Place 1/3 c. non-dairy ice cream (I used my gluten-free and vegan Cookie Dough Ice Cream recipe) inbetween 2 semi-frozen brownie squares.
- Dip brownie sandwiches into bowl of melted chocolate and coat.
- Allow to set on a piece of wax paper.
- Freeze another 15 minutes.
















57 comments
Delta says:
Feb 13, 2013
OMG how did I miss this when you posted! A-MA-ZING!!!! omg girl, you saved my butt.. again! Using this recipe to make heart brownies, we had all the scraps for desert. YUM-MEEE!
As for the rest of your post, {{{HUGS}}} for you for back then and for now too whenever you need it!
mmmarzipan says:
Nov 12, 2012
What an amazing perspective you have had on this situation… I understand that it must have been challenging, even with a positive attitude and things to look forward to. I always think it is such a huge blessing to be able to access gratitude whilst still in the midst of something BIG. Kudos to you and the very best with this new chapter of your life! Thanks for the inspiration (both perspective-wise and food-wise!). I love your blog x
Ali Morris says:
Aug 15, 2012
What a beautiful post and such an amazing recipe! It looks ridiculously delicious! Good luck with everything
Jana says:
Jun 19, 2012
This recipe looks yummy. Good luck with your future!
Somer says:
Jun 18, 2012
Dangit Cara! You have me crying and blithering all over my computer. It’s gonna short circuit! So eloquent and beautiful my friend. The Universe will re-align with something even better. Thanks for sharing your insight and perspective. When we think we’ve got it bad, someone else is always suffering more. Compassion during these times for those who have it worse makes us stronger and helps us to overcome our own grief.
Fancy a trip to Utah? I’m making gluten free chocolate cupcakes tonight…. Not that they will in anyway compare to the ice cream brownie sandies!
Cara says:
Jun 18, 2012
You don’t even need to make cupcakes to get me to Utah! Here I come… xo
Somer says:
Jun 18, 2012
Guest room is ready!
Heather says:
Jun 18, 2012
You Miss Cara are one of the strongest and beautiful people I have gotten to know – your thought process and the way you handle lifes challanges is all done so gracefully; you are destined for great things, the road may be a little bumpy at times but you will get there eventually, one day & lesson at a time
Until then, we have these fantastic ice cream sandies!
Cara says:
Jun 18, 2012
You just blessed my heart more than I could convey. Thank you from the bottom of my soul for this comment, Heather. xo
courtneyraejones says:
Jun 16, 2012
Oh boy, reading this very much made me tear up. It’s so tough to have good things not work out. Especially when you feel it is your key to moving on. It’s easy to dwell and ask “why me!?” and allow negativity to take over. But the power of your positive thoughts will help you through and move you onto bigger and better things. I’m proud of you for pushing on and sharing your life lesson with everyone
It is so very true. Nothing is permanent. In the end, everything will work out. *HUGS*
Kristy says:
Jun 15, 2012
I am so proud of you, Cara. Isn’t it wonderful how right when we are worrying about the future or the past, something snaps us into the present and all of those worries seem insignificant. You are a great person, and as long as you treat every moment as a gift, your entire future will be filled with incredible gifts.
I love the fact that nothing is permanent, that we and everything around us is constantly changing. It’s what gets me through when things get bumpy and what helps me savor the great moments while we have them. Sending you super big hugs.
Cara says:
Jun 15, 2012
I love that you reminded me that nothing is permanent, not even the bumps. Sometimes it feels like they will never go away, doesn’t it? But even they are only temporary. Thank you for this comment, Kristy. It touched my heart in the beautiful way that you know how to do… xo
GiGi says:
Jun 15, 2012
Ahhhh, sometimes hindsight will show us that things were perfect all along. Not that that ever eases the pain. It’s still always hard
Sending you hope, hugs, and inspiration for more delicious Cara goodies.
Cara says:
Jun 15, 2012
I love the inspiration vibes–yes, more please!
Thank you, GiGi. xoxox
Anonymous Burn says:
Jun 15, 2012
DEAR MISS CARA, I TOTALLY LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AN’ BACK AND MAMA SAYS THE MOON IS A REALLY FAR WAY AWAY SO I LOVE YOU A WHOLE LOT. SO, AS YOU KNOW, MY MAMA IS A BIT STODGIE AND A STICK IN THE MUD SOMETIMES. ALWAYS “NO ROSE”ING ME ABOUT EVERYTHING FROM EATING DUCK POOP TO GIVIN’ TOO MANY KISSES. ‘COURSE I DON’T KNOW HOW A PERSON GIVES TO MANY KISSES BECAUSE KISSES ARE GREAT AND I’M A GREAT KISSER BUT WHATEVS – SHE’S BORING SOMETIMES. BUUUUUT, SOMETIMES I HEAR MAMA TALKING TO PEOPLE ABOUT ME AND SAYS THAT MY EGGS-OOOBERANCE AND ZEST FOR LIFE IS SO CONTAGIOUS AND MAKES HER REMEMBER TO SMILE AND BE EXCITED ABOUT EVERYTHING LIFE HAS TO OFFER. EGGS AND ZEST IS ALL I GET OUT OF THAT ‘CAUSE I’M HUNGRY. AND SOMETIMES, MAMA LETS ME CHASE THE DUCKS AND SOMETIMES, MAMA LETS ME ROLL AROUND IN THE MUD…BECAUSE…WHY NOT! IF I WAS THERE WITH YOU, WHICH MAMA SAYS MAYBE SOME DAY SOON WE CAN BE, I WOULD GIVE YOU LOTS AND LOTS OF KISSES BECAUSE I KNOW YOU WILL LET ME AND THEN YOU AND I WOULD GO RUN OFF AND SPLASH AROUND AND LAUGH AND HAVE A GOOD OLE TIME BECAUSE WE LOVE (VEGAN) EGGS AND ZEST!! LOVE, ROSIEBEAR XOXOXOXO
Cara says:
Jun 15, 2012
Yeah, this was pretty much THE greatest comment ever left on anywhere in the internet world!!! Rosiebear, you are a bright light in my life (so is your mom). You have NO idea how much you make me smile… xo
Anonymous Burn says:
Jun 15, 2012
JUS’ DON’T TELL MAMA ‘CAUSE ANALAIGH HAD TO BE LOOK-OUT WHILE I SNUCK ONTO THE COMPUTER. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
Lilly Sue says:
Jun 15, 2012
Cara, that is amazing that you are able to write out your feelings so well (it is such a good outlet). Thanks for sharing. My heart goes out to you…but you seem like such a strong individual I know you will get through this and be even more amazing
It is sad to have 5 1/2 years of beautiful (I’m sure) memories come to an end but it is so amazing that you guys were able to discover that you are both in different places now. I understand what you mean by a beautiful break-up…typically it seems like an oxymoron but so glad that if it had to end it ended in a “positive” way.
Tasty looking treats! As always
Cara says:
Jun 15, 2012
Thank you for this, Lilly Sue… Seriously, thank you. xo
Nina says:
Jun 14, 2012
Oh Cara, how I wish I could give you a great big squeezy cuddle. Your story made my eyes leak. Damn, where is a tissue…
So sorry able your relationship. You are both clearly very smart people to part company as friends (well, not enemies anyway). And your job falling through! Aaargh, to have your hopes dashed like that. Will you stay put now or still move house? I wonder what will come next?
Love the end to this post. You are right, life is extremely precious. Whatever you decide to do next will be the right thing for you.
Thinking of you often. xx
Cara says:
Jun 15, 2012
I have officially moved but I too am wondering what will come next! Kinda exciting isn’t it? So many possibilities! (glad I have a new perspective)
I will take that great big squeezy cuddle though please. Like, right now! xo
femmegypsy says:
Jun 14, 2012
Reading those last few lines gave me intense goosebumps!!! We all need to count our blessing each and every single day! Thank you for sharing
glutenfreehappytummy says:
Jun 14, 2012
Oh Cara, I’m so sorry about that. Life can be unexpected and rough sometimes, but you’re right, nothing is permanent. I always find peace that everything happens for a reason. There’s something and someone very special down the road that is waiting just for you:) sending you virtual hugs:)
vegyogini says:
Jun 14, 2012
I had a feeling it was your relationship ending that you alluded to a couple times here. I’m so sorry you’re going through this and grateful that it ended in a beautiful way. You are so supported by this community of readers and, I’m sure, by your family and friends.
Baker Bettie says:
Jun 14, 2012
Oh my dear, I am so sorry to hear this! I know how excited you were about this opportunity, but your attitude about life is so amazing. I’ve been working with a client a lot lately about finding contentment in what we have now instead of always needing more. And as much as I believe this to be true and an important concept, I have no doubt that life has so much in store for your beautiful and talented self. If you need to chat do not hesitate to hit me up lady!
Cara says:
Jun 15, 2012
You are simply wonderful, K.
xo
Kelly Klepfer says:
Jun 14, 2012
You do have a great attitude, Girl. There is something good around the corner. Hang in there.
Cara says:
Jun 15, 2012
I’m hoping that it is YOU around the corner
iRuniBreathe says:
Jun 14, 2012
Oh Beans! That’s a forkful to deal with.
I’m glad you have such a balanced perspective and this can only resonate to bring you good things. I love you being in the present moment, too. This is such a gift and you’ve written it so eloquently so that the rest of us may be reminded. Thank you, thank you.
PS This recipe is heavenly.
Cara says:
Jun 15, 2012
What a wonderful comment, seriously! I love the first part–gosh, did that make me smile and chuckle. Thank you for your kind words! xo
iRuniBreathe says:
Jun 16, 2012
I’m glad!
Brooke (Crackers on the Couch) says:
Jun 14, 2012
Oh friend. I was afraid something like this had happened. This sucks. But you have very good perspective on the whole thing. Something wonderful is in your future.
Cara says:
Jun 15, 2012
Something wonderful is always right around the corner, isn’t it?
xoxo
Abby says:
Jun 14, 2012
Amen, sister friend. While no one’s struggles and pain are any less relevant than anyone else’s, sometimes perspective smacks us in the head. It can always be worse. We always have options, even if they’re not exactly what we hoped for, and we always have a choice in how we handle things.
You handle things with grace. Good things will follow…like ice cream brownie sandies.
Cara says:
Jun 15, 2012
I heart you so much! You make me laugh and smile and feel normal with your authenticity. Thank you. xo
Gabby @ the veggie nook says:
Jun 14, 2012
I am so sorry to hear about all your recent troubles, but I have to say your perspective and attitude is just amazing. You have risen up above your problems to appreciate what life has given you and that it so difficult to achieve yet so important!
I like to think that the universe supports us in every moment. That everything that happens to you is supporting you right now and is in someway helping you become better and happier. I ended a 6 year relationship 2 years ago now and while it felt like my world was falling apart at the time, I look at who I am now and what I have accomplished and I know it was for the best. I am a stronger and happier person for it, I have found my passion!
I know it will be the same for you. Sending you love! xoxox
Cara says:
Jun 15, 2012
Goodness, do I just love what you said about the universe supporting us in every moment. YES! Beautiful, just beautiful Gabby. I’m so grateful for all the comments and support YOU leave over here. For reals. Goodness, you just bless my heart always. xo
Sarah says:
Jun 14, 2012
I’m sorry about your break up but glad it ended well (considering). The treats look amazing and congrats on the new job! And new beginnings
Richa@HobbyandMore says:
Jun 14, 2012
darn these tears. that is a beautifully written post. Keep on going. I know Something wonderful is waiting for you.. Tight Hugs.
Richa@HobbyandMore says:
Jun 14, 2012
btw that brownie looks ridiculously good. you know we can open a gluten free molten chocolate cakery and icecreamery. i cant run the thing alone with my limited energy, but i can help open one up.
Cara says:
Jun 14, 2012
We should open up a gluten free chocolate breadery
haha. I would seriously LOVE that. And I love the hugs you are sending my way… xo
Richa@HobbyandMore says:
Jun 15, 2012
yes! and we will serve some grilled chocolate sandwiches! Tight Hug.
Laurel says:
Jun 16, 2012
Grilled chocolate marshmallow sandwiches? Just askin’
Cara says:
Jun 17, 2012
Done and done!
Caitlin says:
Jun 14, 2012
i’m speechless. all i can say is that i whole-heartedly agree with you and i love and share your perspective on life <3
Cara says:
Jun 14, 2012
And I love you… xo
Shira says:
Jun 14, 2012
I just about started to cry reading this. Cara, this is too much! Amazing how perspective can blow a punch to the head at the right times, though we all have (valid) hardship and struggles, it honestly seems crazy when you get a reminder like this!
Come to Vancouver! Honestly..there is a gluten free bakery opening up in my hood…..
Cara says:
Jun 14, 2012
And you made me cry reading that you were crying…
Coming to Vancouver tomorrow. How amazing if that were true???
Keisha says:
Jun 14, 2012
I agree. Keep on living, love what you have when you have it. Experience pitfalls and grow from them. Thanks for this post!
Cara says:
Jun 14, 2012
Thank you for the thoughtful response, Keisha. I am going to take your advice and keep moving forward! xo, Cara
Keisha says:
Jun 14, 2012
Oh my…I’m speechless.
Danielle @ Fresh4Five says:
Jun 14, 2012
Cara, your optimism is inspiring! You wrote this so well. I truly believe everything for a reason, what was meant to be IS happening for you! With an open heart it will come to you. I can see it like sunshine from here.{{{[hugs}}}
Cara says:
Jun 14, 2012
Taking in all that sunshine (and hugging) you are sending me. Thank you, Danielle, for this. It really put a smile on my face… xo, Cara
Erica says:
Jun 14, 2012
This is a beautiful post and so true. Thank you for sharing such a raw experience with us.
Cara says:
Jun 14, 2012
Thank you for reading it, Erica. I truly appreciate it. xo, Cara
Bob Vivant says:
Jun 14, 2012
Delicious recipe! Thank you for the much-needed reminder to enjoy the moment. All the best to you as you enter this new chapter of your life. I hope something wonderful is waiting around the corner for you.
Cara says:
Jun 14, 2012
I am right there with you with the hoping
Thank you so much for this! Means so much… xo