Today there are no words, just St. Patrick’s Day French Bread Pizzas to be made and eaten. My heart is rather heavy today, as is all of ours, here in this hospital room. We are going on day 7 now of hospice care and just when you think it can’t get any worse, you wake up to another day that proves you wrong. The emptiness my mom already leaves in my life, though we are on our last days here, only shows the incredible space she took up while she was thriving. Man, she was larger than life.
She was a rainbow: Beautiful and full of color, just like these gluten free bagels. No matter how angry I get at the thought of what I think is losing my mom too soon, I easily calm down and become thankful because there are a lot of people who will never know the deep love of their mother. I think I had the experience of at least 1000 mother’s love all combined into one. For that, I am so thankful.
And I’m so grateful she was at my wedding this past September. I felt this tremendous need to have a quick turnaround once my now-husband and I got engaged.
- 2 gluten free rolls, halved (I used Schar's rolls)
- pizza sauce
- nondairy cheese
- red, orange, yellow, and green bell pepper slices
- cauliflower florets
- Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.
- Slather the rolls with pizza sauce and cover with cheese of choice.
- Add the veggies in full rainbow style.
- Place on a cookie sheet and bake for approx. 15 minutes or until the crusts and veggies are lightly browned and the cheese melts.
It felt a bit strange and something I couldn’t put into words at the time why I have trying to get the wedding put together in less than 5 months but I knew that if we didn’t get married in the fall, it wouldn’t have happened until mid this year. I pushed hard for fall and now I understand why.
My soul has known that this moment was coming. Don’t ask me how because I have no idea myself but as I look back on the past 6 months especially, I can see how I was already mourning this day in ways that I cannot explain. Feeling so grateful that I fought for a fall wedding and this Rainbow of Color watched me walk down the aisle and that we danced our way into the night.
No words…probably because my brother, sister, and I are out of breath after we just blasted some Michael Jackson’s Thriller at my mom’s bedside while we had dance party with her smile brightly on her left side. God, I love my family.