A good friend said to me recently,
Relationships can be confusing and frustrating and all of those things, but that usually stems from some illusion that things are expected to be a certain way. When you relax and let the universe show you just what you need, it usually ends up okay.
Over the past 2 months, I have been immersed into this world of learning about de-expectating my life. Yup. De-expectating. Spread that word around folks, I just made it up.
Expectations really are the killer of reality, aren’t they? You buy into this illusion that you are to expect circumstances in your life to pan out they way it occured in so-and-so’s life or how it happened for you 3 years ago. What that does to you, however, is it blinds you to the reality that truly, each thing, each circumstance–each person that graces your life is unique and is to be dealt as so.
That has been one of the most difficult things for me to grasp. I am a person who likes to control my life as much as I can so setting up expectations from my experiences in the past has been a great way to prepare myself for what is to come. Unfortunately I am realizing what an illusion that has been for me. The only thing expectations has given me is constant disappointment and a false sense of what is truly going on.
Learning to let go and relax is going to be a long life lesson for me (…and thanks to Rose, I know I will have many years to practice). Already it has been a pain in my ass because it can be so painful at times. Have you ever seen your “stuff” (crazy train thinking/actions) come out and try not to do anything about it (ie: fix it, ignore it, drink until it goes away)? Have you ever seen a glimpse of your neurotic nature and just said “Hello again” and tried not to judge yourself for being too controlling, too needy, too naive for falling for the same pattern, too crazy in the head?
It’s one of the most courageous, scariest, most frightening, empowering, messiest things you can ever do for your self. I dare you to try it, even if it is just for a few seconds that you look at yourself without judgment and just allow yourself to be. No expectations of who you think you should be, where you think your life should have been at this point, or how you think others should react towards you.
Just relax and breathe. It usually ends up okay in the end.
Inspired by Everyday Raw Desserts
- ¼ c. almonds
- ¼ c. macadamia nuts
- ½ tsp. cinnamon
- pinch of nutmeg
- 2 dates, chopped
- 2 Tbsp. water
- 1 Tbsp. coconut oil, melted
- splash of vanilla extract
- 1 apple, thinly sliced
- Juice of 1 lemon (approx. ¼ c.)
- 3 Tbsp. agave nectar
- 1 tsp. cinnamon
- pinch of nutmeg
- Pulse nuts and spices together until chunky. Remove and place into a medium bowl. Place dates, water, coconut oil and vanilla into the blender and mix until smooth. Add into nut mix in the bowl until fully combined.
- Allow the apple to soak for a few minutes in a bath of lemon juice, agave, cinnamon, and nutmeg.
- Microwave apples in juice in safe bowl for 45 seconds. In an individual dish, place a layer of the nut mixture on the bottom. Top with layers of the apple slices. Top with remainder of the nut mixture. If you want it more warm, place in microwave for another 30 seconds.